<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Heavy Heart to Carry by swampslip</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743454">A Heavy Heart to Carry</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/swampslip/pseuds/swampslip'>swampslip</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breeding, Caught, Endgame Polyamory, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Other, Parenthood, Polyamory, Surrogacy, Virgin John Marston, between charles and arthur, if you think enby people who have babies are invalid kindly fuck off, non binary john marston</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:54:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743454</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/swampslip/pseuds/swampslip</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Good fuckin' Christ. I ain't a child but I'm sure you'll make a great dad with that reasonin'!" John bites out sharply and pushes at Charles' arm. </p><p>Charles lets go, no longer acting like a living seatbelt, but the resounding silence makes John's skin prickle with goosebumps.</p><p>"... Sorry," John whispers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith, John Marston/Arthur Morgan, John Marston/Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith, John Marston/Charles Smith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Heavy Heart to Carry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a surrogacy/pregnancy fic, it is not mpreg, john is non binary, masc leaning, and offers to act as a surrogate for Charles and Arthur<br/>if that in any way bothers you, leave, i will not tolerate transphobia in the comments<br/>this fic contains explicit conversation about transmasc conception, breeding and impregnation, pleaseeeee don't read it if it'll fuck your dysphoria, i know i don't usually write pregnancy so this is left field but h</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's either too far, or too expensive, y'know? And it feels foolish to complain 'bout it. It's such an obvious issue, it's just really starting to get to us, I think," Arthur huffs and settles back against the couch, "It's discouragin'. Makes me wanna stop tryin' or-"</p><p>"What if I did it?" John asks quickly. </p><p>Rushing the syllables in a jumbled word vomit, because he knows if he hesitates they'll never come out.</p><p>"... What?"</p><p>John takes a deep breath and shifts on his side of the couch, Arthur's in the middle, they're just waiting for Charles to finish up his shower before they start the movie. </p><p>"What… If I volunteer? As a surrogate?"</p><p>"You serious?" Arthur asks hoarsely. </p><p>"I… Yeah?" John whispers, "I could try, at least. Y'all have done so much for me and-"</p><p>"Wait, wait, wait, <em>no,"</em> Arthur says harshly, getting up and turning on his knees, facing John, "Don't do that. You don't owe us shit, Johnny, I don't want you offerin' somethin' like this outta… Outta-"</p><p>"Offering what?" Charles asks as he comes around the corner, braiding his damp hair up off the wet patches on his shirt.</p><p>"Me to- To be y'all's surrogate," John says slowly.</p><p>"Okay, but before you say anythin', Charles, know also that he's viewin' it as a debt repayment," Arthur says harshly.</p><p>"No I ain't!" John says and shoves the older man out of his space lightly, "You just took one bit of what I said and ran with-"</p><p>"I didn't take 'one bit', I took everythin' you said and figured out what you-"</p><p>"Knock it off," Charles says firmly, raising his voice above their bickering, "Both of you."</p><p>John submits first, dropping his gaze and muttering an apology as he brings his hands back into his lap.</p><p>"Arthur, go take a smoke," Charles says quietly, coming around the couch and pulling his husband up, nudging Arthur towards the back deck, "Calm down."</p><p>Arthur holds firm, eyes flicking between John and Charles before he grunts something about<em> 'takin' sides'</em> and shuffles out onto the deck.</p><p>John watches the spark and flare of Arthur's lighter in the dark space beyond the sliding door, then looks up at Charles nervously.</p><p>"I shouldn't have said anythin'," John whispers, "'M sorry, it slipped out."</p><p>Charles sits in the middle of the couch, rubbing his face tiredly.</p><p>"He's right," Charles murmurs, "You don't owe us anything."</p><p>"I didn't mean that this was- I just don't- I <em>want</em> to see y'all happy," John says hoarsely, "I want…"</p><p>"Arthur?" Charles asks neutrally and John shakes his head quickly.</p><p>"Not like that… Like- Charles," John lifts his hands up to cover his face, bringing his legs to his chest, curling up in the corner, "... S'not fair."</p><p>"What's not fair?"</p><p>"That the universe keeps shittin' on y'all," John mutters, "You want a family, you both just…"</p><p>Charles sighs, is quiet for a moment. </p><p>"When I first brought it up, you know Arthur got mad?" Charles asks quietly, "Not angry, not at me, really, he just couldn't understand."</p><p>John lifts his head just enough to turn it, looks at Charles through his messy hair.</p><p>"His family… He has that way about him, of pulling people in, of <em>caring</em>. Everyone's family to him if he trusts them. After… Eliza, and Isaac, he admitted, even, he went from trying to be indifferent to holding on to people with all he's got."</p><p>"S'that why he told me to live here with y'all?" </p><p>".... No," Charles says slowly, "That was my idea."</p><p>John blinks at him in surprise but doesn't say anything. </p><p>"He outright rejected the idea, of surrogacy, he said 'maybe fostering' and I said 'okay' because I'm fine with that. Then a couple months went by, he said 'maybe adoption' and then a few more and he was asking me what I knew about the process."</p><p>John huffs a small laugh. </p><p>"He misses it," John murmurs, looking up into the darkness, the faint glow of the end of Arthur's cigarette, "Bein' a Pa."</p><p>"Are you serious, John?" Charles asks gently, tapping the back of his knuckles on John's bare ankle, "Have you actually thought about this? What it'd entail?" </p><p>"I… Had a checkup, not that long ago," John says quietly, "It wasn't extensive, not like what y'all went through, but I'm healthy… And they asked me about birth control and I… I don't know, just got me thinkin'."</p><p>"So it's not out of guilt, or some sense of owing us, right?"</p><p>"No," John whispers, "I don't even know if it'll… I don't know how y'all wanna-"</p><p>"Wanna what?" Arthur asks as he steps back in, closes the door behind him.</p><p>"... The only thing that puts me off is the- The clinical bit."</p><p>"Like… The tests?" Arthur comes over and sits on the other side of Charles, facing the other two, "I know you don't like doctors all that much."</p><p>"Not… I don't care, 'bout the… Gendered part of it," John says hesitantly, "It's the… The <em>procedure</em>."</p><p>"... The insemination?" Charles asks.</p><p>"S'kinda important," Arthur jokes lightly, half-heartedly.</p><p>John swallows and drops his gaze.</p><p>"If… I- I can get an evaluation, like a serious one," John worries a worn spot in his flannel pants, "Then talk 'bout the actual…"</p><p>He makes a vague gesture to his crotch and stomach, not meeting the older men's eyes. </p><p>"John… Just 'cause you brought it up doesn't mean you have to commit to anythin'."</p><p>"Hey," Charles says and squeezes John's ankle, "Let's drop it tonight, alright?"</p><p>Arthur watches them both closely for a moment, then starts the movie. </p><p>--</p><p>Arthur has to work, the time of his appointment, but Charles offers to go with him. </p><p>Charles sits up by his head while John presses his face into their clasped hands, trying his damndest to ignore the doctor between his legs. </p><p>The evaluation is quick and relatively painless, they’ll call with the results of his tests within three business days. </p><p>Charles watches John out of the corner of his eye, worried with how quiet the younger has been on their drive home.</p><p>“Hey,” Charles says gently, reaches forward to turn down the radio volume. </p><p>"Hm?" </p><p>"You alright?" </p><p>"Just… Thinkin'," John murmurs, "Sorry."</p><p>"You don't have to apologize," Charles hesitates then lightly squeezes John's knee, "You wanna talk 'bout it?"</p><p>"... Wouldn't it be strange?" John huffs and lets his head fall back against the seat as he watches Charles watch the road, "Gettin' pregnant without havin' done…"</p><p>"Oh," Charles says quietly.</p><p>"S'not that big of a deal, I guess. Just strange, I can't imagine it goin' outta order."</p><p>"You're… A virgin?" Charles asks awkwardly after a minute.</p><p>"No. Not <em>really</em>, just… Traditionally."</p><p>"... You know we don't have to-" Charles swallows quietly and his fingers flex on John's knee, "The whole thing is set up since we didn't <em>know</em> anyone willing, and having sex with a stranger when there's an option. It keeps it… Impersonal, somewhat."</p><p>"Charles," John whispers, staring at the older man.</p><p>"Obviously only if you're-" Charles hesitantly takes his hand back to shift then hovers it awkwardly between them, "If you'd rather."</p><p>"I… You? Or Arthur?" John looks out the windshield as they turn onto their street, voice going even quieter, "Both?"</p><p>"Let's wait, alright? We can figure this out <em>with</em> Arthur."</p><p>--</p><p>"What?" Arthur asks hoarsely, and damn if that isn't his word of the week.</p><p>"What if we tried natural conception?" Charles repeats as they're laying together on the couch, John passed out on the loveseat.</p><p>Arthur lifts his head to look at his husband, shifting himself up off Charles' chest to look at him clearly, then looking under his arm at John's sleeping form.</p><p>"Y'all talked 'bout this?"</p><p>"A bit. Intended to talk about it with you tonight but…" Charles gestures at John.</p><p>Arthur huffs a small laugh, still watching John.</p><p>"He seemed interested, if I'm honest," Charles says gently, knowing this is a big mental hurdle for Arthur.</p><p>"Why's he so opposed to the procedure? I know he ain't fond of doctors but still."</p><p>"... You'll have to ask him."</p><p>"What?" Arthur looks back to Charles, frowning, "Why?" </p><p>"It's his reasoning," Charles says gently, "Not mine to tell."</p><p>Arthur squints down at him for a moment then sighs and re-settles himself on Charles' chest, cheek pressed to the younger man's sternum. </p><p>Charles' hand comes up to idly run lines over the scars and freckles that cover Arthur's back.</p><p>--</p><p>"Hey," Arthur says in surprise, coming into the kitchen early Sunday morning, only to find John perched on the counter, phone gripped tightly in his hands, "You alright?"</p><p>"That was the… The doctor," John says quietly, "Everything's good."</p><p>"That's good to know," Arthur says carefully, "Even if you change your mind." </p><p>"I haven't."</p><p>"Okay," Arthur manages hoarsely, "But you don't want to-"</p><p>"I was awake, when Charles told you."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"I've never had sex <em>like</em> <em>that</em>."</p><p>"<em>Oh</em>," Arthur swallows thickly, "Jesus, John, that's… I wouldn't have- I-"</p><p>"It's fine. It's not," John sighs heavily and pushes the phone away on the counter, rubbing his eyes roughly, "It's not <em>that</em> big of a deal."</p><p>"... You sure 'bout that?"</p><p>"... No," John mumbles, "I don't know <em>why</em> it's botherin' me, how 'bout that?"</p><p>"John," Arthur says gently and moves closer, "I'm not trying to push you into admittin' anythin', if that's what this feels like, but I don't want you to be unsure, at all."</p><p>"Yeah," John rubs at his eyes harder then shoves his hair away from his face, behind his ears.</p><p>"You still tired?" Arthur asks quietly, and gently picks up John's hand when the younger nods, "You wanna come lay down with us?"</p><p>John blinks in surprise, lifting his gaze to Arthur's, nervous, hopeful.</p><p>"C'mon."</p><p>"Charles-"</p><p>"Won't care. I promise."</p><p>"How d'you know?" John mutters as they pause at the cracked door to the master bedroom.</p><p>"Just trust me, yeah?" Arthur nudges John in front of him towards his side of the bed, Charles stretched along the other. </p><p>John's further nudged to crawl onto the bed, and stiffly settle in the middle, Arthur coming in to flank his other side.</p><p>"Charles?" Arthur reaches over and gently squeezes his husband's shoulder.</p><p>"Mm?" Charles barely lifts his head, tilting it towards Arthur's voice.</p><p>"John's here."</p><p>Charles turns his head to squint at them both sleepily, then moves one hand to John's arm.</p><p>"Hey," Charles murmurs, "Okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine," John whispers, "Sorry."</p><p>"S'nothing," Charles turns more towards him and shuffles a little closer, wrestling with the tangled mass of covers, "Cold?"</p><p>"No," John says weakly as Arthur settles on his other side after messing with the alarm clock.</p><p>Charles hums and gives up fighting with the top sheet.</p><p>Arthur nudges John lightly to get his attention.</p><p>"You really alright?" Arthur asks lowly, fingers lingering on John's upper arm.</p><p>John nods, slowly.</p><p>"S'been a while, since we shared a bed," John admits quietly</p><p>"Years," Charles mutters from his other side.</p><p>Arthur gently weaves his arm under John's then over the younger's stomach. </p><p>John exhales shakily and closes his eyes tightly, only then realizing how <em>long</em> it's been since he was held.</p><p>Charles' forehead presses against his other shoulder and John twists his arms, one hand on Arthur's forearm, the other on Charles' wrist.</p><p>--</p><p>Arthur doesn't recall falling back asleep, but when he wakes up again it's to the sight of John in Charles' arms, both their faces soft in sleep.</p><p>His heart aches, with such a strong and sweet longing that it manifests as a physical pull in his chest, towards them.</p><p>He shuffles closer, gently tangling his arms into the puzzle of limbs already constructed.</p><p>John's eyes open blearily, looking up at him, back at Charles, then close again as John settles and burrows forward, pressing himself into Arthur's embrace, with Charles still plastered to his back.</p><p>--</p><p>"Did y'all have a timeline? For when you wanted things to happen?"</p><p>"It was more just waitin' for the right person."</p><p>"There's no rush, John." </p><p>John presses his lips together and looks back up to stare at the ceiling. </p><p>"Is it weirder, with me livin' here as well?" John asks hesitantly, "How do you explain that?" </p><p>The older men are quiet and John sighs, roughly dragging his hand over his face.</p><p>"Sorry… I ain't tryin' to complain, don't feel real well."</p><p>"You okay?" </p><p>"... Started takin' those vitamins, makin' me a bit sick."</p><p>"We can try a different brand," Charles says and comes closer to John, crouching next to the younger on the floor.</p><p>Arthur stays in the doorway to the small room.</p><p>It's an odd shape, too small to be a real bedroom, too big to be a closet.</p><p>There's a crib, still in its box, leaning against the wall under the window.</p><p>A somewhat over-eager purchase by Arthur months ago.</p><p>John's been laying on the carpet for hours, waiting for Arthur and Charles to come home from the store. </p><p>"Are you having second thoughts?" Charles asks, voice low and soft.</p><p>"... Not really? More just, tryin' to figure everythin' out now, rather than later."</p><p>"That's… Good," Charles says slowly.</p><p>John snorts and sits up, holding out both of his hands to be helped up, pulling a huff of a laugh from Arthur, who steps forward to help.</p><p>--</p><p>It's so dark.</p><p>John squints at the space in front of him, what looks empty but <em>feels</em> full.</p><p>He knows it's full.</p><p>"Arthur?" John calls out quietly, taking a cautious step into the room, "Charles?"</p><p>The darkness shifts, fabric rustling.</p><p>"John?" A rough voice asks and John recognizes it as Charles'.</p><p>"The… There's a storm," John says weakly, "Power's out."</p><p>"Oh," Charles murmurs and John hears more rustling, "You alright?"</p><p>"... No."</p><p>"Can… Can I help?"</p><p>"Can I sleep… Doesn't have to be in the bed with y'all- I- I'm-"</p><p>"John," Charles says slowly, firmly, "Come here."</p><p>"I can't see," John whispers, on the edge of breaking down.</p><p>Hears Charles hum, and then more shuffling, closer.</p><p>Closer.</p><p>He startles when hands close around his forearms and lead him deeper into the darkness.</p><p>It's Charles, he knows that.</p><p>The older man's hands are warm, he smells like herbal soap, somehow slightly different than the way the same fragrance settles into Arthur's skin. </p><p>He bumps against the mattress, stumbling.</p><p>Is carefully guided into climbing up onto it, nudged into the middle again, just from the opposite side.</p><p>The darkness shifts in front of him and John gradually recognizes the shape as Arthur.</p><p>"Sorry," Is what he says as a greeting, because it's all he can think of.</p><p>His mind a revolving door of guilt and fear and guilt and fear-</p><p>And shame.</p><p>Arthur grumbles something unintelligible and reaches out, sloppily pulling John down, and toward himself.</p><p>John ends up with his face pressed firmly into the warmth of Arthur's chest.</p><p>After a moment Charles shifts behind him, sandwiches him firmly between the older men. </p><p>"Better?" Charles asks quietly.</p><p>"... Yeah."</p><p>--</p><p>Charles wakes up pressed up against John's back, the two of them loosely in the center of the big bed.</p><p>Arthur nowhere to be found.</p><p>He turns his face into the pillow to muffle himself yawning, but it's enough to disturb John, who squirms in his arms, wiggles back to be more firmly fitted against him.</p><p>Charles stares at the back of John's head for a long moment, then moves his hand from around John's waist to the younger's hip, holding him in place.</p><p>The weight of John's admitted… Inexperience, is oddly heavy on his mind.</p><p>A small tinge of guilt around the edges of his normally free-flowing but mostly-ignored attraction.</p><p>Charles can hear Arthur moving around in the kitchen, now that he's listening for it. </p><p>Slowly he extracts himself from John, climbing backwards off the bed, pausing, lingering, then gently pulling the covers more securely around the younger. </p><p>--</p><p>Arthur's got something in the oven, smelling sweet and bready. </p><p>Coffee fresh in the carafe. </p><p>"Mornin'," Arthur says quietly. </p><p>Charles hums and moves closer, slipping between Arthur and the counter, getting a raised brow from the older man. </p><p>"Morning," Charles whispers, leans in and presses his lips to the corner of Arthur's mouth. </p><p>Feels the older man smile. </p><p>Then moves down, slightly, pressing another kiss to the edge of Arthur's scruffy jaw. </p><p>Hears Arthur swallow thickly in response. </p><p>His husband's hands finding his waist and gripping. </p><p>"Charles," Arthur breathes out shakily. </p><p>"You wanna?" Charles murmurs. </p><p>"S'John still asleep?"</p><p>"Mm," Charles moves his hands to the front of Arthur's waistband. </p><p>"Shit," Arthur hisses, head falling back as Charles fingers wrap around his cock.</p><p>Arthur's good at staying quiet, when he needs to.</p><p>Gritting his teeth and swallowing moans as Charles jerks him off. </p><p>Reaching down to return the favor, sliding his cool fingers in to grip Charles just the way the younger man likes it, teasing the tip and squeezing the base with each stroke. </p><p>Arthur buries his face in Charles' neck, hips jerking forward, fucking into the younger man's fist. </p><p>Charles makes a small, amused sound. </p><p>"Eager?" </p><p>"S'been a while," Arthur mutters defensively, moving his hand down further to palm Charles' balls. </p><p>Charles can't quite stop the moan before it escapes him, and they both freeze, for a few seconds. </p><p>Then Charles makes another small sound and ruts against Arthur's wrist. </p><p>"Keep going," Charles whispers.</p><p>"If-"</p><p>"Arthur… Please?"</p><p>Arthur inhales shakily near his ear then shifts and presses their hips together, lining up their cocks so he can get his other hand around both of them.</p><p>"You think John'll take both of us?" Charles asks quietly and Arthur jerks against him in surprise. </p><p>At the question, the tone. </p><p>"What?" Arthur asks hoarsely.</p><p>"Know he wants you," Charles murmurs and grinds into Arthur's touch, "Has for a while."</p><p>"He- I-"</p><p>"Pretty sure he wants me too," Charles says slowly, "Yeah?"</p><p>"... Yeah," Arthur agrees hoarsely.</p><p>"When I suggested," Charles grunts and moves his hands to Arthur's hips to steady himself, "Doing it… Natural. Know how he responded?" </p><p>Arthur just breathes heavily, cock twitching against the younger man's. </p><p>"Asking whether you'd fuck him, or me, or <em>both</em>."</p><p>"Fuck," Arthur groans lowly and squeezes both of their lengths at the base, pressing his face firmly into Charles' neck. </p><p>"He's so clingy, sleeping in our bed," Charles muses, "Wonder how needy he'd be, being bred his first time."</p><p>"Jesus- Shit- Darlin'," Arthur near <em>whimpers</em>, and his cock jerks, Arthur's hips twitching against his. </p><p>"Like that thought?" Charles asks, wants to be amused, but he's close as well, imagining it.</p><p>John, taking both of them, being fucked out and leaking <em>both</em> of their seed. </p><p>Arthur makes another small noise against his neck then breaks, pulling back slightly to cup the tip of his cock as he jerks himself with his other hand, coming into his palm. </p><p>Charles is slightly calmer stroking down his own length, then fisting the head of his cock, watching the come fill his hand and leak out, up and over his knuckles. </p><p>He turns to grab them both tissues and freezes.</p><p>Catching sight of John standing in the archway of the kitchen, lips parted and eyes wide in shock. </p><p>He meets Charles gaze, face burning pink and Charles sees Arthur turn and go still as well. </p><p>"I-I could smell the.. The-Bakin’-" John gestures at the stove, "I… Uh… Sorry."</p><p>John turns and is out of sight down the hallway before either of the older men can think to say anything. </p><p>Charles presses his lips together and hands Arthur a couple tissues, looking at the older man apologetically. </p><p>Arthur just sighs and takes the tissues, roughly cleaning himself up, then following after John.</p><p>--</p><p>He stands outside John's room for what feels like at least ten minutes before softly knocking. </p><p>"... It's open," John's hoarse voice says, muffled on the other side. </p><p>Arthur opens the door slowly, then awkwardly hovers in the doorframe.</p><p>John's sitting cross-legged on his bed, face still pink and eyes downcast, staring at the bed in front of his ankles. </p><p>Or maybe his ankles. </p><p>Or maybe nothing in particular. </p><p>"... You alright?" Arthur asks hesitantly.</p><p>"I ain't sure how I'm supposed react to… That."</p><p>"How do you want to?"</p><p>John makes a helpless, confused gesture then covers his mouth with both hands, still staring vacantly downward.</p><p>"Thought you were asleep…"</p><p>"No shit."</p><p>Arthur huffs quietly and leans more firmly against the doorframe.</p><p>"How much did you hear?"</p><p>"Everythin' after Charles callin' me clingy."</p><p>"Should I apologize?" Charles asks from behind Arthur.</p><p>"... Depends," John says quietly.</p><p>"On?"</p><p>"What you mean by 'apologize'."</p><p>Charles' brows lift in surprise and he watches John closely.</p><p>"Have something in mind?" Charles asks lowly.</p><p>John slowly meets his eyes, nods.</p><p>"I have to check on…" Arthur says quietly, swallowing roughly, turning and going back to the kitchen.</p><p>Charles steps into John's room.</p><p>"What do you want?"</p><p>"... Honesty."</p><p>Charles blinks in surprise, waits.</p><p>"You interested in me?" John asks quietly, "Outside of gettin' a kid?"</p><p>"... Yes," Charles says slowly, working through the weight of that one word admission. </p><p>"Is Arthur?" </p><p>"Yeah. He has been, even before this."</p><p>John swallows and shifts, rubbing his clammy palms on the thighs of his pajama pants.</p><p>"Were… Were you serious? Or just messin' with Arthur?" John asks hoarsely.</p><p>"About?" </p><p>"... 'Being bred his first time'."</p><p>Charles frowns at him for a moment, studies him silently, then shakes his head.</p><p>"It was just a thought. That'll only happen if you want it to."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Did… Did that upset you?" Charles asks gently, "I'm still willing to apologize, you weren't supposed to witness that."</p><p>"I figured," John scratches lightly at his arms then frowns down at himself, "Do you… Is that normal? Gettin' off over other people?"</p><p>"Normal to who?" Charles asks, tone a bit wry, "Me and Arthur? Yeah. You don't just lose the ability to fantasize when you get married." </p><p>"... Yeah," John relents unconvincingly.</p><p>"Did you think you did?" Charles quirks a brow at the younger, trying to get a read on John's hesitation. </p><p>"No. No, not like that- I just- I've been kinda nervous 'bout that kinda thing," John shrugs half-heartedly, "If you was thinkin' 'bout someone and they found out… Didn't like that."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>They both turn to look down the hallway, hearing a small clatter and a curse from the kitchen. </p><p>"Come on," Charles beckons tiredly, "Let's see if he burnt breakfast."</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>